so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am mentally ready for anal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
