What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
