i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
