Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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