On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
