You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
