Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
