i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i believe in u and ur pee
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
