Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
