just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
