their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize