So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
