i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
