it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
