I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
