Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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