I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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