Umm I'm too high to move.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
