I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
