I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who did Billy Mays play for?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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