i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
