Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
