i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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