Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
