You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
