Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
