dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
