In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.