Where is the hickey?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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