I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.