I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.