She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!