cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
