well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
