If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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