He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize