some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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