Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
