just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
