hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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