I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
