I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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