Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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