If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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