his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
