Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
