GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
