in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Congratulations! We have a period
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
