Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
