mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
