4 words: hood of his car
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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