I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
