dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
