Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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