Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
