Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
