I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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