Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
