dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
