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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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• (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.

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• (916): View more from California

  I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.

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