On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
