so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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