Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
