Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she woke up with a sticky ear
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize